Chapter One Excerpts: Page 8

Throughout this book, I will share about the Up-hills and Down-hills of being a Preacher’s Wife, as well as the great aspects of belonging to a “First Lady’s Group” “sisterhood” or “tribe.” A tribe is a group or community of people who have similar values or interests, or a common ancestor or leader – which, in this case, would be the Lord. Hopefully, this is where you will find friendship, help, and support within your church group. Page 11 Life as a Preacher’s Wife is one of the undulating mountains of joy and one of the immense valleys of sorrow. “Love has its highs. Love has its lows. Love has its highs and lows, its ins and outs, its ups and downs. Love’s like a joyride—a spin on a Merry Go Round, like Doris Days lyrics of “Anyway the Wind Blows.” (Day, 1958).

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Over the past generations, the literature on the Preacher’s Wife is preoccupied with the role and/or expectations. Role expectations, according to Theodore Sarbin is comprised of two aspects. First, there are the outlooks that others have of the respondent. These are the responsibilities of the role. Secondly, there are those expected standards, which the respondent has of those playing reciprocal roles, the rights of a role. According to this definition of role expectations, the literature on the Preacher’s Wife is concerned almost exclusively with her responsibilities and does not consider her rights. (An exception is Golda Bader’s, I Married a Minister,) in which two chapters deal with her privileges and opportunities. The mood that is established in the writings is generally exhorting. The imperatives “should,” “must,” and “ought” occur time and again. Most of the self-help books targeted toward the Preacher’s Wife is, in essence, books of etiquette. They are codifications of her role, states the social psychologist, Theodore Sarbin. “We do a disservice to ourselves and others when we portray the Christian life as peaceful and happy all the time. Instead, the Bible portrays the believer’s life as consisting of seasons of ups and downs… Whether a time of joy or sadness, each season should motivate us to seek the Lord and trust Him.” (Fisher, 2011)